They say that music at a very high caliber is the equivalent to professional sports both physically and mentally. So I ask the question “ if this is true, which I believe so then why does the academic music field not have performance physiologist?” Throughout my undergrad I have seen peers, colleagues and my own mental health decline. It’s almost as if the higher playing proficiency you are trying to achieve, the worse your mental health becomes.
I think there are multiple factors to this statement. The main two are: Personal pressure, never feeling like you are good enough and secondly, the academic pressure and arbitrary deadlines, typical academia.
Speaking from personal experience before university and my injury I was practicing 4-5 hours a day with nothing but love and joy for the violin. Having just finished undergrad there are days where the mere thought of taking out my instrument seems almost undoable because of the crippling self doubt I feel.
I ask myself the big why. Why do I feel this way?
As anyone would, you start to rationalize how your negative thoughts have to be right. The list piles up and looks something like this. 1) it’s because you aren't dedicated enough. 2) that bad masterclasses/trial lesson you had becomes the only prominent one you can think of. 3) the imposter syndrome.
I think the music industry has chalked up this very common feeling as “ it's just a burnout” “you're just burnt out, take a day off” “stop feeling sorry for yourself” My question to those remarks is, if a professional NBA basketball player said then same thing would that community write it off as it just a burnout, or would they strategize with a sports psychologist, be proactive and then move forward?
I have made an interesting correlation, at lower playing level universities more students go on and pursue a career in music then students who started off at a more competitive school. Yes, pressure and expectation is a very good thing, in fact I thrive off of it, but only to a certain degree. I have seen far too many incredibly talented and dedicated friends quit playing because of the negative impact which their undergrad has had on them. The world of academia in the music field has great benefits, however it is to my belief that the negative impacts on mental health outweighs the good.
You can not play at your best if you are mentally not at your best. These two greatly coincide. I think the future of the academic music world needs to, and will be catering to the mental aspect of high caliber performance, and with that the overall playing level will rise.
In a space so small and competitive it's so important to remember why you loved to play, to advocate for not only yourself but others too and treat peers/coworkers as friends with compassion, not competition, because nobody understands the sacrifices that musicians make like another musician does.